Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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