i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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