i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
