I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize