I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize