It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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