im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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