i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
