So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
