what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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