college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
