porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
