it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
This is the high leading the old right now
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
