i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
