you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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