does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
