Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Reggie can tackle my bush.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
