the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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