I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
