so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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