I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
