we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He? As in you personified your dick?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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