... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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