i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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