On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't deserve a penis
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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