i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
