what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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