do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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