so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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