yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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