Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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