He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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