Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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