I have demons in me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
