If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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