well you can't waste a boner
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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