My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
