You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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