Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
