Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
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