awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Randomize
