Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
