so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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