Your dad touched me again.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize