addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
