I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
