I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
