dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
