Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
