put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
