you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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