I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
