I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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