well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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