I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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