If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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