By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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