just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
