she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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