Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize