It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
