i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
