Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize