he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
