My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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