We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Pooping to opera.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
