Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
