I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
