so that wasnt chicken after all
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
