This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
